


The Villain Wrangler

by Lise



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Children, Gen, Inspired By Tumblr, Light-Hearted, Loki Does What He Wants, sometimes you just get a brainworm and gotta go for it, this is so far from anything I write most of the time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:56:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8032276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: The Make-a-Wish Foundation expects requests from kids to meet their favorite superhero.  This might be the first one from a kid who wants to meet a supervillain.





	The Villain Wrangler

**Author's Note:**

> So, well, [this prompt](http://veliseraptor.tumblr.com/post/147512492430/shenko-beka-tiddalik-katyakora) crossed my dash - which, as you may have noticed, is kind of my jam. The whole "villain reluctantly does nice things, sometimes, for their own reasons" aesthetic is one I'm really fond of. And then this happened, basically in one go. And I wonder why I never get any of my long projects done in a timely fashion!
> 
> This is why. Because things like this happen.
> 
> I'm not that sorry. It was really fun to write.

“You won’t believe the request I got handed today,” Danica said. Maddie looked up at her.

“Yeah? Try me,” she challenged.

Danica told her. Maddie didn’t believe it.

* * *

“You have a kid who wants to meet Loki,” Maddie said. “ _The_ Loki. Like, New York and aliens Loki, that one?”

“Of course I told them that was off the table,” Danica said. “I mean…obviously. But…god. The little girl - Midge - was just _devastated_. And I was half thinking, you know, _how would I hypothetically make this happen,_ but that’s just…crazy. We can’t.”

“What if we did, though,” Maddie said. Danica stared at her like she’d started speaking in tongues, and Maddie shrugged. “I’m not saying we _should._ Just…could we make it happen, if we wanted to? Think about it.”

“I’m thinking about it, and it’s crazy,” Danica said. “How do you track down a supervillain?”

“Ask another supervillain?” Maddie said. Danica gave her a look, and Maddie shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’m just saying - _if_ we could make it work. How incredible would that be?”

“I’m pretty sure you would be more likely to just die,” Danica said.

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Maddie cracked her knuckles. “I say we should try it.”

“Don’t you have projects of your own?” Danica asked, looking powerfully dubious.

“Mostly I’m waiting on approvals,” she said. “And this is _much_ more interesting.” Danica just looked at her again, long-suffering and pained. “Give me ten days, all right? Just let me see what I can do. All else fails, maybe I can find an actor who’d be a decent doppelganger.”

“Or,” Danica said, “we can just go back to the drawing board and get a wish that doesn’t involve anyone homicidal.”

“Sense of adventure, Dani,” Maddie repeated.

“Where’s _your_ sense of not getting killed?” Danica asked, but Maddie could tell she was caving.

* * *

She started at what seemed like the most likely place: the Avengers. She tried three numbers, each of which gave her the automated response runaround, before tracking down the number for Avengers nee Stark Tower’s reception and calling _that,_ where Maddie finally got to talk to a person.

“Hello,” she said, and spat out the rest quickly: “I’m trying to get in touch with the Avengers? I’m Maddie, from the Make-a-Wish Foundation.”

“I’m sorry,” said the receptionist after a moment’s pause. “I don’t have a line to the Avengers. I can take down your name-”

“Can I speak to someone in Stark Industries?” Maddie asked. “Virginia Potts, maybe?” Another long pause, and Maddie played her trump card. “Like I said, I’m calling from the Make-a-Wish Foundation on behalf of a child with a life-threatening illness.”

“I’ll transfer you,” the receptionist said, finally, and Maddie heard the familiar click and waited perhaps five minutes. She’d just started to suspect that she’d been dropped when the line clicked again.

“Pepper Potts speaking,” she heard, and let out an exhale she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

“Hi, Ms. Potts,” Maddie said. “My name is Maddie and I’m calling-”

“From the Make-a-Wish Foundation,” Ms. Potts - Pepper, apparently - said. “That’s right. Of course, Stark Industries is happy to help. What do you need?”

“Actually,” Maddie said, “I’m trying to get in touch with the Avengers.” There was a brief pause, and she added, “none of the phone numbers I found seem to go anywhere.”

“Mm,” Ms. Potts said, noticeably cooler. “Can I have your full name, please?”

“Maddie Applegate,” she said. She heard tapping on keys - looking up her name? She wondered sympathetically how many crank callers Ms. Potts got making the same request.

“All right,” Ms. Potts said eventually. “Stark Industries is not officially affiliated with the Avengers-” Maddie tried not to roll her eyes, and just made a sort of _uh huh_ noise. “-but I _may_ be able to put you in touch with a liaison-”

“Actually,” Maddie said, “it’d be a lot easier if I could just talk to them in person.”

“If you are making a request of one or all of them,” Ms. Potts said, her voice patient but very, very firm. Maddie would not want to be on this woman’s bad side. “You will need to go through official channels.”

“I’m not,” Maddie said. “The request isn’t for them. I just need their help getting some ideas on how to get in contact with the person it _is_ for.”

“And that is?”

The strict answer, Maddie thought, was that she shouldn’t say. Not on a line like this, when she didn’t even know if what she was trying to do was…completely legal. You never knew when the NSA might be listening, especially to calls made to the CEO of Stark Industries. But… “Loki,” she said. Silence on the other end of the line.

“Is this some kind of joke?” Ms. Potts’ voice was icy. “Ms. Applegate, if you are wasting my time-”

“It’s not,” Maddie said quickly. “I know it’s - a little unorthodox.” Understatement. “But a wish is a wish, and…we always do our best to try to make them come true.”

Another, even longer silence. Finally, Ms. Potts said, “I’m going to put you on hold.”

Maddie put her phone on speaker and sat back to wait for about ten minutes. When the line came on again: “hey, Maddie. This is Maddie, right?” She sat up straight, eyes going wide for a second. _That_ was an easily recognizable voice.

“Um - yeah,” she said. “This is Maddie.”

“Tony Stark,” he said matter of factly. “Nice to meet you, can I cut right to the chase and ask if you’re totally _batshit insane?_ ”

Maddie blinked. “I don’t think so,” she said. “But I guess I might not know if I were.”

“I’m pretty sure _actively looking for a supervillain_ so you can _introduce him to a sick kid_ qualifies,” Mr. Stark said, sounding a little…well, borderline hysterical. “Did I get that right? That is what you’re doing?”

Maddie looked at her notes. “There’s a five year old girl named Midge in the hospital with a congenital heart defect that’s killing her. She wants to meet Loki. I’m just trying to see if I can make that happen.”

Tony Stark swore colorfully. And loudly. “Okay, but _why?_ And what’s the last name and hospital, I can-”

“I’m not authorized to give that information,” Maddie interrupted. “As for why…you’d have to ask her wish team. I’m just doing the legwork. Do you have any leads on how I might get in touch with him?”

He swore again. “You’ve got to be…babe, if I knew how to _get in touch_ with the guy he’d be in a cell underground. Or back in space. We’re not exactly chatting on the phone weekly.”

“I understand that,” Maddie said, starting to feel a little irritated. “What about Thor? Would he have any better idea? Or are there any known associates-”

“You’re actually serious about this,” Mr. Stark interrupted. “Actually, for real, serious about this. Jesus.” Maddie said nothing, waiting. “This five year old. Midge. You know if you put her in a room with him he’s going to kill everyone in it.”

“We won’t introduce Midge into any situation that we judge to be dangerous to her,” Maddie said. “I’m just looking at potential avenues.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Mr. Stark said, and blew out a breath. “Right, okay. I’ll give you Thor’s phone number. But I _honestly_ hope that if this works out for you and you _do_ find him, you do the smart thing and call Thor’s number to bring him in, rather than getting your head ripped off by a sadistic, homicidal, and insane alien. Right?”

“Thank you very much for your help, Mr. Stark,” Maddie said, maybe a little too sweetly. She wrote down the number he rattled off, asked him to repeat it twice to make sure she had it right, and wished him a nice day before hanging up.

Well, she thought, if nothing else at least she had Thor’s cell phone number.

* * *

Thor’s phone number went to voicemail, which, to Maddie’s disappointment, was just the canned automatic message rather than a custom one. She left a message requesting a call back, and received one only a few hours later.

“Good evening, is this…Maddie Applegate?” She’d expected some kind of booming, overloud near-shout, but Thor actually had a very reasonable phone voice. And a pretty nice voice in general.

“This is she,” she said.

“I am returning your call in regards to the…Make-a-Wish Foundation? Tony informs me that he gave you my number. How may I help you?”

Maddie took a deep breath and let it out. “How much do you know about the Make-a-Wish Foundation?” She asked.

Which was how she ended up explaining the whole thing to Thor - honestly, she was a little surprised no one had gotten in touch with him before, but this whole “Avengers” thing was pretty new. It was all going pretty well up until she got around to the part about why she was calling him.

“I was wondering if you knew of any way I could get in touch with Loki,” she said.

Silence. And then a polite, “I beg your pardon, but I think I may have misunderstood. You wish to know…”

“If you know how I can talk to Loki,” she repeated. “Yes.”

“And you wish to speak to him because…?”

“One of those kids I was telling you about wants to meet him,” Maddie said, deciding not to skip around the subject. Bracing, a little, for impact. What she got was an extended silence.

“I do not think that would be wise,” Thor said, sounding like he was attempting to be diplomatic.

“I know,” Maddie said. “It might not sound like a good idea, but I’d like to at least be able to say I tried my best. So-”

“I do not think you understand,” Thor said. “My brother is very dangerous.”

Maddie rubbed her nose. “I know, trust me. I have family in New York - well, Brooklyn, technically. But like I said, I need to try to at least ask. So, do you know how I might be able to get in touch with Loki?”

“I do not,” Thor said, and Maddie slumped. There went her lead. But Thor went on: “not for certain. But I _may…_ be able to find someone who could be of more help. I promise nothing, and I must say once again that I do not think this is wise-”

“Thank you,” Maddie said sincerely. “Honestly, thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“Do not thank me,” Thor said. “This is a thing done against my better judgment. I do not suppose I can persuade you to change course?”

“Nope,” Maddie said. “Probably not.”

“May I have your email, then?” Thor said, sounding resigned. “I will see what I can find and send it to you within the next couple of days.”

* * *

Thor sent her contact information for a Swiss banker. Maddie looked from the email from Thor to the Google search she’d pulled up, and said, “huh.”

But she called the number.

“Hello,” she said cautiously. “Someone told me you might know how to contact Loki.”

“Who is this?” Asked the voice on the other end, accented and distinctly suspicious.

“Maddie Applegate,” she said. And then added, “from the Make-a-Wish Foundation.”

Another long silence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said the man she was talking to, who might or might not, she supposed, actually be a Swiss banker. You could make Google say anything. Maybe this was some kind of supervillain contact network. Except…why would Thor know that? (Why would Thor know a Swiss banker?)

“Look,” Maddie said. “I can’t offer you a bribe, or anything. I’m no one important. I’m just trying to get in touch with Loki so I can ask him a quick question.”

“I don’t know who directed you to me,” said the voice on the other end of the line, sounding tense, “but you have been misinformed. Goodbye, Ms. Applegate.”

The line clicked dead. Maddie tried calling back, but this time it just didn’t go through. She drummed her fingers on the table and scowled. Dead end, and she didn’t really know where to go next. Maybe this really had just been a waste of time.

_Probably for the best,_ she tried to tell herself. But she was…a little disappointed. Okay, a lot disappointed.

* * *

On Thursday she was kidnapped by the US Government.

At least, she figured that’s what it was. She was now sitting in a featureless room, hands chained to a table, pretty sure she was going to die and swearing in her head, mostly at Danica. Good to know that the NSA _was_ listening to her conversations, apparently.

“Okay,” she said, the minute someone walked in - bland, white, agent-y - “am I accused of something?”

“Not at this time, Ms. Applegate,” said Agent Government, bland as his face. “We just want to ask you some questions.” He opened a file and paged through some of the papers in it. Maddie tried to look at them and couldn’t make out any actual words. “Do you need a glass of water?”

_I need my hands unchained and to be un-kidnapped,_ she thought, but it probably wasn’t smart to mouth off when she was already being detained without due process. “No, thanks.”

They went through a few basic questions - _where’s your family live, where do you work, how long have you been there,_ before they finally got to the actual question: “what is your connection with the wanted war criminal Loki?”

“I don’t have one,” Maddie said frankly. “I wouldn’t be having to try so hard to get in touch with him otherwise.” Whoops. Agent Government - who was apparently actually named Agent Coulson, or that was the name he gave her - raised his eyebrows a little. She grimaced. “I haven’t actually done anything _illegal._ Have I?”

Agent Coulson didn’t say anything. Maddie took a deep breath. “I was trying to find a way to talk to him because one of our clients - one of the kids - wants to meet him.” There, she’d said it. The eyebrows went up a lot further.

“And you think that’s a good idea?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Maddie said. “The most trouble I’ve had _so_ far is that I was just kidnapped on the way to work and am now locked up in a basement somewhere. The other thing hasn’t been an issue.” Probably shouldn’t have said that either. Coulson didn’t seem offended, though. Maybe she’d get out of this without getting shot yet.

“And if you _did_ manage to find him?” he said. “Did you have a plan for that?”

“I figured I’d just have a five minute phone conversation,” she said. “Ask the question, get a no, it’d be done. Or maybe not, and then that would be a whole other thing, but…” She trailed off.

“That doesn’t seem reckless to you?” There was a little bit of bite to Mr. Bland’s voice. “Not to mention the fact that you would be making contact with a _wanted criminal_ and rather than aiding in bringing him to justice-”

“Look,” Maddie said. “ _I’m_ just trying to make a five year old sick kid happy. I’m not a superhero and I’m not about to get myself set on fire trying to be one. Is that really worth _kidnapping_ me over?”

Coulson pursed his lips. “Ms. Applegate. I’m afraid we can’t allow you to continue. Either you swear to drop this line of inquiry entirely, or, if you continue, it’s with the understanding that we will be tracking your movements and the _instant_ it looks like you might have made contact-”

What was supposed to happen if it looked like she was going to make contact, though, Maddie didn’t get to hear. He was interrupted by a grinding, screeching, metal on metal noise, and then the door being ripped off its hinges and dropped to the side with a clang.

Loki stepped through, immaculately dressed in what looked like evening formalwear. Maddie made a small _eep_ noise, and Coulson bounced to his feet, but Loki’s eyes were on her.

“Maddie Applegate, I presume,” he said. Thor had a nice voice but Loki’s was even better. If she swung that way…well. She blinked at him, wide-eyed and entirely unable to figure out a response. “I heard that you have been looking for me.”

Coulson whipped out a gun. “Stand down, Loki,” he said. The look Loki gave him was frankly pitying. He raised his hand and Maddie flinched. She thought she caught a bare flick of his eyes toward her and a change in gesture. Coulson vanished.

“What’d you do?” She asked. Her voice sounded strangled and very high pitched.

“Sent him to New Zealand,” Loki said casually. He looked a little pleased with himself, for a moment, then glanced toward the door. “Hm. I expect company will be along soon.” He flashed her a toothy smile, and then shifted into motion. Maddie nearly tried to scrabble back but she was still chained to the table, oh shit oh _shit-_

Loki broke the chain with a sharp yank (like it was string) and pulled her to her feet. “Somewhere more private, I think,” he murmured, and Maddie thought her heart was going to explode, which would probably be fine because at least that way she wouldn’t feel herself die whatever other painful way was going to happen now.

* * *

She didn’t die.

She _did_ feel a little like the world just rotated 360 degrees, spinning her head over heels, and her knees wobbled when she stuck the landing except she hadn’t moved at all. Except she had, because she was now standing in what looked like…a fairly normal apartment, except for the distinctive horned helmet on top of one of the bookshelves.

Maddie stared at it, her mouth dry. This had…gone weird. Fast.

“Tea?” Loki inquired. He’d let go of her arm and was over in the kitchen. He looked her over and amended, “or perhaps brandy.”

“No thanks,” she managed, though it came out little above a squeak. His eyebrows twitched, and she cleared her throat and tried again. “No, thank you.”

“As you wish.” Maddie stared at him as he put a kettle on the stove and turned it on before looking back at her. “So. You were looking for me.”

She swallowed hard. There was a speech she’d written down, in case she ever actually managed to _reach_ Loki. It was on a notecard in her apartment. It had also been meant for a conversation _over the phone._ “Um,” she said. “Yes.” And then stopped. Loki’s eyebrows crept up further.

“Go on,” he said, after a moment. Amused, at least. That seemed better than the alternatives.

She took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m with the Make-a-Wish Foundation,” she said. “And I was…there is…” She paused, her knees wobbling. “Can I sit down?”

“By all means,” Loki said, with an expansive sort of gesture. Maddie lowered herself onto the nearest chair and clasped her shaking hands between her knees. She’d been kidnapped by the government and now she was sitting in a supervillain’s apartment. Okay. Normal day. She could handle this.

“Hi,” she said, trying to remember what her card had said. “I’m Maddie Applegate - you already know that.” She laughed nervously. “Make-a-Wish Foundation - have you heard of it?” The minute the question was out it sounded absurd. Why would he have heard of it?

“I looked it up,” Loki said. He was watching her with a very faint and condescending smile. Still better than the alternatives, Maddie reminded herself. She blinked, a little surprised, and his lips quirked. “I _can_ use the internet, Ms. Applegate.”

“Right,” she said. “Of course.” She took a deep breath. “Anyway. Then you know what we do. I’m here to ask if you’d…consider helping us fulfill one little girl’s wish.”

If Loki’s eyebrows inched any higher they were going to meet his hairline. “I am not typically in the business of granting wishes, Ms. Applegate. Just because I have magic does not make me a hedge witch capable of such castings.”

Magic, Maddie thought blankly. Right. “Uh, that’s not.” She bit her lip and took the plunge. “This girl, her wish is to meet you.”

Loki blinked once, slowly. And then burst out laughing. Full on _guffaw_ laughter, like she’d said something genuinely hilarious. Maddie could feel herself turning red. She waited until he stopped and just looked at him as squarely as she could. Loki looked at her and his smile faded a little. “You _are_ joking. Surely.”

“I’m not,” Maddie said. “We always try our hardest to fulfill wishes.”

“And this girl’s fondest wish is to meet me,” Loki said, his voice dripping with scorn. Maddie tried to look confident and sure of herself.

“It is.”

The smile dropped away fully and Loki took a step toward her, something in his demeanor shifting. “Very good. You are fairly convincing. Now, Maddie Applegate - who really sent you? On whose behalf are you hunting me?”

Oh, Maddie thought blankly. He thought she was lying to him. “No one,” she said quickly. “No one, I swear. I’m telling the truth. You can look me up online-”

“I already did.” Loki took another prowling step toward her. “You cannot actually expect me to believe that you have gone to all this trouble to find me simply because some child wished it. You cannot expect me to believe that a child _would_ wish it.” His eyes, intent and very, very angry, fixed on her.

“I know - I know it’s unusual,” Maddie said, babbling a little because this wasn’t just making a pitch over the phone, this might be her _life._ “But kids are - kids don’t always think like you’d expect, and some of them have ideas that might seem weird but that’s just the way they are. And she’s - Midge, her name’s Midge and she’s really sick, and meeting you was what she said she wanted. That’s the truth, I swear it is.”

Loki stopped moving. His eyes narrowed and Maddie tried not to flinch. “And you agreed,” he said flatly. “This seemed a _sensible_ thing, to you.”

“Maybe not _sensible,_ exactly,” Maddie said. “And I mean, I kind of figured you’d say no. But I could at least try to _ask._ ” She cleared her throat again. “So-”

“I do not mean for _you,_ ” Loki said dismissively. “Plainly you are a simple-minded fool. I wonder that it truly did not occur to you - or your organization - that putting a small child in a room with _me_ would be _unwise._ ” He flashed his teeth at her again in that unsettling not-really-a-grin.

Maddie swallowed hard. “Well,” she said after a long moment. “I guess I figured everyone’s got standards, and maybe you’d draw the line at a sick kid. I mean, it wouldn’t really _help_ you to hurt her.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed further, like he could pick her apart with his gaze. “A thin safety for your charge.”

Well, Maddie thought, if she was going to die she might as well die historic in a supervillain’s living room. “ _Would_ you hurt her?” She asked, making herself meet Loki’s eyes. “Would you do that, for no good reason? What would it cost you, really, to make _one_ kid’s day? A few hours, max, and you could make this kid happy.”

Loki’s nostrils flared. “And the minute I am finished playing your game you hand me over to your authorities?”

“Didn’t seem like they gave you much trouble,” Maddie pointed out. “And no, as far as I’m concerned you can walk away. I don’t want to start a firefight that might get Midge caught in the crosshairs.” She chewed the inside of her cheek and said, “on my honor. If you signed on, I’d keep it under the table. No interference. And I’ll never bother you again.”

Loki stared at her, eyes still narrowed. “I need to think,” he said, after a long moment.

“How long?” Maddie challenged.

“Twenty-four hours,” Loki said. His expression was hard to read. “I will contact you. Do not attempt to reach me and do not, for the Norns’ sake, speak to _Thor._ Is that understood?”

“Right,” Maddie said. “Of course. You…I guess you have my contact information?”

“Indeed.” Loki regarded her for a long moment, made a sort of ‘hm’ sound at the back of his throat. “You are an interesting one, Ms. Applegate.”

“Thanks, I think,” Maddie said. She hesitated, then held out a hand. “Um. Thanks for talking with me.”

“You are welcome,” Loki said, something faintly amused flickering around his lips. When he took her hand his fingers were surprisingly cool, but it only lasted a moment before that peculiar feeling of the world rotating around her took over again.

When she opened her eyes from where she’d squeezed them shut and looked around, it took her a second to make sense of her surroundings, and then she wanted to scream. He’d dropped her in the middle of Central Park.

This was going to be a hell of an explanation to her boss in Maryland.

The hassle was almost worth it, though, for the short text she got around 1 am the following night from a blocked number: _I’ll do it. -L_

* * *

“You’re joking,” Danica said. Maddie waggled her phone in her direction.

“Nope. Swear to god.” Maddie couldn’t help a little giggle. “I got him.”

“I can’t believe,” Danica started, then stopped. “I don’t…” She stopped again, and just shook her head. “You _actually_ talked to _Loki_ and got him to agree to, to…”

“I got kidnapped by the government, too,” Maddie pointed out. “So it’s not like it was _easy._ And there’s still the whole problem of logistics. I told him we could keep it off record, you know, so nobody starts a superhero fight? But now…how will that even work?”

“I’ll talk to my supervisor, figure it out…somehow.” Danica stared, then whistled. “Seriously. How’d you do it?”

“I have no idea,” Maddie said. “Honestly. I just…asked. And maybe kind of asked if he was really a big enough asshole to ignore a sick kid. I didn’t…phrase it like that.”

“I’d _hope_ not.” Danica leaned on the wall of her cubicle. “Wow. Maddie, _you’re_ magic. I swear to god.” She blinked, and then paled. “Shit, wait. Does this mean _I_ have to deal with him now?”

“Probably,” Maddie said. “Just…be polite? Seemed to work for me.”

“That’s your advice? Be polite?”

“Like I said,” Maddie said. “I don’t know either.”

* * *

And that was more or less it. Danica showed her the one picture she’d managed to sneak. “I thought I was going to pee my pants,” she said. “But it actually…went really well? And he was sort of good with her? Weirdest afternoon of my _life._ ” She paused. “If I ever get another one of these, I guess I know where to go.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a permanent tap on my phone, and my name’s probably blacklisted somewhere, Dani,” Maddie said.

“Okay,” Dani said, and shoved her phone in her face. “But Midge.”

The girl in question did have a huge grin on her face. It was hard to get a read on the expression on Loki’s, but it looked like he was trying not to smile.


End file.
